So we're at the penultimate episode for season five of True Blood. And if it's anything like last week's, I'm going to be weeping while I write this running review. And I really do mean weeping. It's strange how I will rarely cry in "real life" but put something in dramatic form (film, book, music) and I will just fall apart. You don't even want to know how I reacted to all the deaths in the Harry Potter series--I think I actually embarrassed my mother in public for the first time in...I really don't even know how long.
And we're starting! God help us all.
Oh, great, the psychotic episodes are beginning already. I really don't have a single fucking clue if Bill is just faking this entire Lilith thing or if he is so deep in shit territory that he can't find his way back out. I do know that they did the most horrible casting job with the role of Lilith--or if not the casting then just the costuming. It's so distracting, in a way that nudity never is on this show. So, is Bill crazy? I sure as shit don't know.
Is it wrong of me that everytime I see the credit sequence I'm like, "I swear, I've been in a town like this." I may, in fact, have been in bars and churchs like this. Okay, I know I have, I'm just trying to be coy.
Oh, Nora. Having second thoughts? I would too if I saw my Maker destroyed in front of me. Or if i just had a brain. But, hey, here's Salome to do a little more brainwashing. Good old-fashioned brain washing, just what the doctor ordered.
Wow, Bill, that's a dick move. Not wanting to deal with the "trivial matters of humans". Pretty speech, and if I had to pick someone as a spokesperson I'd go with that charming accent. Oh, shit. Jessica. This is a really, really bad idea. Nice spin, or attempted one anyway. Oh, shit, shit, shit. This is looking bad on every level.
Is it me, or has Erik just looked tortured in one way or another the majority of this season? And wow, that was not a good costuming choice for Nora. And this is how we do acting, ladies and gentlemen. They don't even need words, but all the emotion is there, and the ones they do use--perfect.
I have to say, I love the entire Sookie/Jason storyline this season. We're finally getting to see them act like siblings, much more than in previous seasons and definitely more than in the books. I'm going to go on record as saying letting Jason out into the big, bad world by himself is a really, REALLY bad idea.
And where the hell are we now? Oh, it's the outside of the Authority complex. And that's a lot of fancy gold braiding and stars. I'm going to guess this dude doesn't make it out alive. Okay, total side note, but I just have to say I really love the way Salome carries off the heels 24 hours a day. Oh and there it goes--way to lay it down there, General. And way to keep choosing the wrong words, General. For a man with a lot of stars and I'm guessing experience with crazy situations you are not striking me as a smart man. But then again, I could be wrong--or not. I'm not sure what Erik's doing but it's probably not good.
And this is definitely not good. Oh, I hope Jessica has a plan. I really, really hope she has a plan.
Bill--I'll say it again. You're a dick. But it was nice to watch Salome freak out.
Yes! A plan! Oh, but sad face. Jessica can't catch a fucking break.
Oooh, Pam and Tara. And now Jessica. I have to say, I did love the "ginger bitch" comment.
And that was definitely one of the better kills. Oh, yes! Brother and sister going rogue! With kick-ass boots, no less.
Oh, it's Sam and Luna. As much of a non-fan of Luna as I am, I do admire her total drive to protect her daughter.
Okay, I'm really not sure what's going on with this fairy thing. But I do find the reference to Ke$sha pretty flippin' funny. And the "slut your heart out to every cute guy with fangs" is spot on. Warlow is...who? WHO!?!?! Damn it! I want to fucking know!
Okay, as much as I like having glimpses of the rest of the BonTemps inhabitants, I really just feel like this is dragging things down. And don't get me wrong, I love me some Andy Bellefleur, but, damn it, there is too much else going on at the moment.
Alcide without his shirt. I was wondering when that was going to happen again. And some werewolf drama/history that, again, I could care less about.
Yes! Back to the faeries! And finally something that makes a little bit of sense. Taking a stand as opposed to just being hunted. And more lovely Stackhouse sibling interaction. Aww, it just occurred to me that I can't remember the last time the siblings exchanged I love yous.
"I'm a bitch, not a snitch." I'm going to make that my flippin' motto. And more awws..."She saves my life every day." And I love the way Arlene just breaks everything down to the very basics.
Okay, Bellefluer and Morellia. This is interesting. Oh, and acts of war. Always bad.
Oh, look, Pam is giving lessons. And snark. "Fucking baby vamps." And girl-talk confession time. Maybe we'll get a Tara-Jessica friendship thing after all.
And for once, there's a good stripper on the pole at Fangtasia. But we also have the Authority bitch, so...well, this is bad. Bitch was the crazy sheriff's maker. And now Pam is arrested for Tara's crimes. And damn, bitch found Jessica. This is just getting worse by the minute.
Fucking Lilith. I am getting sick of this bitch. What does it say that I almost hope Bill is just delusional? I don't know, to be honest.
I have no idea what the hell is going on with Alcide and his father but.. I don't care.
Ooh, ooh, ooh...Jason and Russell. And Steve. I really hope this is all part of the plan. I really, really do.
And--see the statement above this statement in regards to the killing scene that just occurred.
More Sam and Luna. And Emma! And more Sam being self-sacrificing.
That was the cleanest kill I've seen in a long time. We're about to have a whole lot of "what are you doing here's", which could be comical or not. Maybe.
Well, that's bullshit. Bill, hitting Jessica officially put you on my shit list. And, hey, guess what? Bill IS hallucinating, him and everyone in the entire nest. Looks like Pam's little lesson was spot on.
And this is...interesting. That was a lot of light into one vampire. And this is bad all around. I really lope this was part of the Elder's master plan. Oh. Oh, this is bad. This is very, very bad.
Okay, that's enough rambling. Now we're reminded why I don't do this that often. I hope you guys enjoyed listening/reading me rambling as much as I enjoyed the episode--and hey, no weeping!