Thursday, June 21, 2012

Ranty Thursday: What's Wrong With Us?

Men say quite often they could never be women. And funnily enough, the reason they usually list has nothing to do with physical properties (although it should be noted that, obviously, we'd have to reconstruct our notion of "sex" in order to make that kind of switch).

Nine out of ten random guys will say they couldn't be female because of the drama. The seemingly never-ending, pointless, useless drama.

Sadly, they have a point.

It's a horrible cliche that women are loaded down with drama. The problem with a cliche is it tends to have a root in truth, which makes it easy for people to accept said cliche. Take a minute and think about some of the conversations you've had concerning women, their emotions, and how said emotions get played out. The word "drama" most likely comes up in the conversation.

This isn't to say there isn't male drama. Because there is. It just seems, at least to me, that men seem better able to work through their personal issues--which also seems to be the opposite of what society likes to tell us. Women, or at least those I know or have known, will go out of their way to escalate a situation, especially if they're in the wrong.

(Note: This doesn't apply to all women. I'm absolutely sure there are women in the world who lead either minimal drama or drama free lives. And I really wish I could meet them and ask them their secret and beg them to let me learn at their feet. But I digress. And I've already done that a lot.)

I work with a lot of women. I've worked with lots of women. It's part of the nature of my half of the service industry--front of the house tends to be loaded down with females. Everybody tries to get along and usually we do. But there will always be a situation where people disagree. There's nothing wrong with a difference of opinion--it can provide for healthy debate and discussion.

It can also provide for people getting offended very easily. This is what I have a problem with.

Maybe it's a by-product of also working in what could be called "entertainment", but I expect anything I put out to be a possible topic of discussion. As a result, I don't say or do anything that I have a problem with other people criticizing, whether that's in my personal or public life. I'll be the first to admit that I can be fairly bitchy. Consequently, when people call me a bitch, I'm not offended. I know it's the truth. I know I presented them the opportunity and reason to make that statement. If I talk about my sex life (or at the moment the lack thereof), then people are free to comment. I just made a personal topic public.

Some of the people I work with (and probably at this point could be considered ex-friends with) don't feel the same. They labor under the idea that while they're allowed to say and act any which way, no one is allowed to comment on it. No one is allowed to express an opinion that differs in any way, shape or form.

And God forbid if you do.

So this is my question--what is wrong with us? Why is it seemingly impossible for women to be able to disagree and still be respectful about it? Don't hand me the crap about hormones, because that's all it is--crap. Is it societal expectations? Have we simply fallen into the habit of letting exchanges with fellow women become potential landmines of disaster?

I really don't have a single damn clue. I do know it needs to stop.

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